ONE DAY AT A TIME…

ONE DAY AT A TIME…

Few days before I had my second baby, I got a letter from the embassy I was working with as Communications and Research Officer, to say my contract with them wasn’t going to be renewed. 

I believed God that a miracle would happen, probably get called back, or even get a better job than the former.

It never happened.

Soon after our daughter was born, my husband got a letter from the Organization he was working with, to say his services were no longer needed.

It became a very trying 4 years for us. 

It was tough! We had to change our daughter’s school and drastically cut down on a lot. We enrolled with a cheaper hospital and could no longer afford some meals. Plantain which I love so much, became luxury. There were days I fed my girls pap( local Nigerian cereal) thrice a day for days, sometimes without milk or sugar. Some days, my husband and I just slept on empty stomachs.

Going through this trying phase of our lives was quite overwhelming. Trust me, major life’s changes like this can fluster anyone.

Occasionally, I would hide and cry out all the heaviness in my heart, because of our kids. They didn’t deserve that hardship.

I took up a job that paid me just about 13.5 percent of what I was earning before. My husband did like wise. We weren’t making much, but it was a buffer. 

I‘m grateful still, because that period helped to build some virtues in me, birth some hidden gifts and also helped to shape me into the woman I am right now.

We all at different stages of our lives are faced with some sort of challenge, and in different degrees. For some, it could be their marriage, for others a sick child. It could be the death of a loved one or a failing health or even business.

When we were faced with those terribly hard times, I adopted a couple of things I will share with you. These were the things that kept me.

*When you go through challenges, hold

fast to your faith, never give up.

Constantly keep your mind on God’s promises and not on your circumstances. 

*In trying times, keep confessing the word of God and not the negativity of the prevailing circumstance. 

*As hard as it may seem, when you are faced with challenges, be patient and know that God is with you. 

*There are always lessons to learn. Be sensitive enough not to miss them.

Within that Period, I was confident that our victory was near. I realized that my faith became stronger.

Father, when faced with challenges, help us to constantly keep our faith in you, and also patiently learn the lessons in those times in Jesus name.

Amen!

WHEN I’M SILENT….

WHEN I’M SILENT….

Motherhood can be quite exigent, but I will do it over and over again.

There are the fun days, there are the busy days, there are days when I have so many palpitations that I think my heart will burst open. There are times that I scream and yell so much, but it seems it all falls on deaf ears, while I hold back tears of frustration.

Many times before I fall asleep, I run the day’s activities with the girls through.

I smile, remembering all their silly jokes and funny acts. At times when I feel I was a bit hard on them, I ask God to forgive me and help me to be more patient with them.

Some nights while they sleep, I anoint them and speak the things I want to see over their lives.

Other nights, I just stay up watching how beautiful they look while sleeping. I pull their cheeks and give them kisses. 

When I’m overwhelmed with emotions, I write them notes, and leave it right by their bedside knowing how much they appreciate such…

When I allow my imaginations surf, I think about how life would be by the time they are teenagers. I can’t help but nurse a little fear on if anything might change.

While at it, I promise myself to be the best mum to them. I just want to love my girls to the point where they can share the good, bad and ugly with me.

I want to be part of their growing up process. I don’t want to wake up, and realize they are suddenly all grown.

We are consciously creating for them an environment where they can grow up with very healthy self esteem. 

In the interim, I note their daily milestones, learn their strengths and weaknesses, while deliberately working on my relationship with them. I enjoy every minute spent together.  It’s not always easy, but realizing how important it is, I make out the time.

Motherhood is a beautiful experience I would never trade for all the gold in this world.

I love my daughters.

I love my husband, deeply….

CAN I SWALLOW MY PRIDE?

CAN I SWALLOW MY PRIDE?

Some few weeks back, I went with two of my kids to pick up a few things from one of the Neighbour hood stores.

It had rained earlier that day and some parts of the road were quite muddy.

On our way back, I carefully tried navigating the road. I didn’t want to get stuck in the mud. I was almost letting out a sigh of relief when I saw a bike coming towards us. I expected he will stop as I approached, I was almost at the end of the road. He obviously saw me coming, but thought not to wait.

In anger, I shouted in pidgin English “Oga abeg go back”. He was relentless, and motioned to me to drive through the mud. I got more angry and gesticulated with my hand for him to get out of my way. He refused to budge until a few of his fellow bike men pleaded with him to move.

I was still fuming with anger, when from the back seat I heard “mummy, next time can you say Oga please back up. Oga will back up if you say please. It was my second daughter.

I got her point immediately! I actually could have approached the situation differently.I was rude to the bike man. He was wrong, however a little politeness could have worked the magic.

I had goosebumps all over. 

I am supposed to model right to these kids how to treat people regardless. I said to them “ mummy behaved badly, forgive her. Next time, I will act better”. Ok, they both said. 

The drive back home was a quiet one. 

It’s not enough to know these thing, it’s more important to apply them when need be.

I learnt a great lesson.

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