A TIME ONCE SPENT…

A TIME ONCE SPENT…

Somethings in life you can never change, no matter how hard you try. The scars will be there to constantly remind you of the memories you so badly want to forget. For every opportunity you have to live now, make it count. If I could ask for one last thing, it will be to live again, but what more time do I have, than to wait till death comes, Yedda said as she wiped the tears that trickled down. She was bent on making lasting impacts in the lives of young girls with every opportunity she had. This particular gathering was of young girls from a University down the road from where she lived.

And she continued…yes, I once was beautiful just like all of you, she smiled weakly. I believed I had it all, I had fame, I had money, I had all the guys, but I lacked one thing, Values, her voice cracked as she echoed the word. 

I was a fresher in school, looking for fun and adventure, and I met Tammy, she was Asian. She was fun to be with, she taught me how to smoke and drink, took me out to night parties, introduced me to the first guy I slept with, it was so much fun and freedom I had never imagined existed. I loved it, I was beautiful and hot, known for the craziest dressed. Tammy taught me that to be the hottest girl on campus, I should be able to freely have any guy of my choice. That was the best I had ever heard, I didn’t have to wait for them to come, I had to hunt them myself.

So, I set off on a mission to greatness, Yedda laughed snidely. I believed it, because I wanted fame. I lost count of how many I used and dumped. I was reckless, I am an extremist, whatever I choose to do, I go the extra mile. I got careless a couple of times, and terminated them. I was having fun, nothing mattered to me. Then I got the contract to model for a brand, I was only 18 then, it was a big one for me. Of course my parents had nothing to say, I made it clear to them that it was my life.

I loved the circle of men that I met in my new career. They were rich, and famous, and powerful. I was intoxicated with the attention I got. They gave me the life I had always dreamed of in school. I had assurance of a good career after school, I had just a year more to go. I gave them what I knew they wanted, and they gave back to me what they thought I needed, and even much more. They gave me HIV. I thought it was a big joke, but look at me, I am just 28 years old, with full blown AIDS and have just about a year more to live. My life could have been longer, I would have had a good career, with beautiful kids and a lovely man by myside, but I traded it all for the pleasure that has brought me nothing but sorrow, guilt, fear, pain, regret and anger. These things are worthless, they can only appeal to your flesh, but time will tell that at the end of it all, you reap only the fruits from the seed sown. I sowed pretty bad ones, and the fruits from it, you all can see. You can live just once as a teenager, as a young adult, make the best of it, don’t end up like me.  She let go as the tears flowed uncontrollably, she wished she indeed could turn back the hands of time, but time was spent….

The hall was tense, some cried out in pain, some, out of pity, while others bowed their head in shame, different emotions clouded the hall. At the back of the hall, seated was Naila. Her heart was heavy, she had listened. Not a single word was missed. She fought the tears that struggled for freedom. It seemed her life in school was being narrated. She looked at Yedda and concluded she didn’t want to end up as miserable, as hopeless. She stood, and ran out of the hall with a decision….

Photo credit: Google

BEYOND AND MORE

BEYOND AND MORE

Garvin, I really can’t do this anymore, it hurt so much the last two times. You promised it wasn’t ever going to happen again. I know May, but it wasn’t intentional, you know you can’t keep it please, it will hurt both of us so much and destroy this beautiful thing we share. I love you deeply, and wouldn’t want to lose you to anything. You bring me so much joy, I can’t think of a day without you, I cease to exist without you, my life is a rainbow of beautiful colours because you’re in it.

I don’t think we are both ready for the challenges that will come with you keeping it, please do this for us, this last time. And take my words, I’d be more careful hence forth. You’re beautiful, Garvin said as he gently pulled May to his side, planting a soft kiss on her fore head with such intensity in his eyes, all the butterflies in May’s tummy began to flicker without control. She loved Garvin so much, he was the sweetest she had ever met. Ok, I will do it, this last time, May responded. I will call Dr. Peters for an appointment then, he said as he took his leave.

School schedule had really been hectic, May thought to herself that night. She had a lot of catch up to do, being out of school for two weeks. She had felt pretty terrible after the procedure to remove the baby. She was grateful she had made it out, she had silently nursed her fears, thinking she wasn’t going to make it. She swore never to get herself to that point again, but Garvin had sacrificed his all for her. She understood it wasn’t too much to do for him, not after getting her the new car, and she knew he was planning a surprise for her 20th birthday and graduation ceremony. He had promised to sponsor her Masters. She loved him, she wasn’t ready to hurt his feelings. He was 10 years older and indeed knew how to take care of her. She had the admiration of her peers, she lacked absolutely nothing.

You look down, are you ok? Bertha asked. Yes I’m great, just a bit concerned May responded. They had known each other from their first year of school, and had gotten extremely close. Same class, they were set to graduate in two months. Ok, tell me about it, Bertha drew close to listen to what her friend had to say.

May took in a deep breath as she looked Bertha straight in the eye. It’s that time of the month again, and I haven’t seen it. Seen what? Please don’t tell me it’s what I’m thinking. You just did 6 months ago May! It’s not what I’m thinking right? 

It is Bertha, May whispered as she broke down. I don’t want to go through it again, I don’t have the strength to. I tried to stop Garvin, but he wouldn’t listen. He’s done so much for me Bertha, I just had to let him have his way. Its ok May, stop crying. Good thing is you guys are getting married in a year, you might as well keep this one. Just let Garvin see reasons with you, I doubt if he will disagree. Cheer up girl, I wish it wasn’t so, but since it’s happened, let’s just hope for the best, Bertha said as she drew May into a big hug.

Here, I got this for you, Garvin smiled handing over the wrist watch he had gotten for her. I have something to tell you, he said. May heaved a big sigh, she wasn’t ready for a vacation with him, or a shopping spree, or a boat ride, she just wanted to tell him her fears, but she chose to let him go first. Ok, darling, I’m all ears. 

She found out about us May, Garvin said. Found out what? Who? What are you talking about Garvin?

May, I have a wife and a son in another country. They‘re coming back into town. I love you, but I’m committed to her and the child. We’ve been married for 4 years. I’m really sorry May, I wish I didn’t have to do this, but, I can’t see you again. You can have the car, but please don’t call me again, I’m sorry. The tears stung her eyes, her throat hurt. Wait Garvin, you’re joking right, you can’t be serious. You just had a bad day, and I understand, just relax, let me get you a drink please.

No May, I don’t need a drink, I have to go. I will transfer some money for you, you’re going to be fine. You are smart, beautiful and success driven. Don’t worry, you’d meet someone better soon please, Garvin whispered as he headed for the door.

What about the wedding Garvin, but I’m preg….before she could finish her sentence, the door shut in her face.

She was devastated. Her legs began to gradually give in, the weight was too much for it to carry. May collapsed, hitting her head on the hard floor, and that was all she could remember….

Photo credit: Google

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